me time now.

i do everything in the world to make the lives of the closest people to me easier. plus, i do everything that i need to do pretty much all by myself. at least it feels that way. i can't remember the last time i asked an actual favor of someone. probably when i asked my old-roomie to take me to the airport at 4:30 am in september. yeah, sounds about right. that actually was super nice of her :) oh, wait. i asked people, "who are nurses and what do they do?" for an assignment last week. and actually taking a few people up on the kind offer to borrow money for school (which i don't think they thought i was going to do. BUT, i'm paying them back, with interest) was gut wrenching! i mean, i cried. and my stomach actually hurts thinking about how much my stomach hurt when i had those conversations. i was super duper close to going with the student loan that had a 10% variable interest rate just so the conversations would stop.

i mean, it's great and all to know that i'm helping people, making lives easier, but you know what? i'm over it. for now at least. it seems like nothing is appreciated when you give and give and give and give and give. and, i actually feel guilty asking something of someone else (that's not right). i sat there for probably 10 minutes fighting with myself over if i should press send on the mass text message, or just go to the 16th street mall and hit up some strangers for some answers for my assignment.

i'm going to be tending to people for the rest of my life in the profession i have chosen (why did i do that!?). if i don't take this time away from everything and everyone to just, not be "mom", i don't think i'll ever catch a break.