representative jessa

i did a super brave thing yesterday. i got up in front of my entire class and spoke. voluntarily. i was so scared. oh boy, i was experiencing major tremors and tachycardia (medical words!). it's the buildup of having to stand up and talk and thinking about everything that can go wrong. i could trip. i could talk too fast. i could stumble on my words. i could choke on my tongue. i could just stand there thinking i'm talking, or wanting to talk, but not. i could faint. i mean, i was only up there for like, 30 seconds. but it was NERVE WRACKING! and it felt like an hour.

the reason i spoke was because the student nurses association at our school wanted someone to represent the BSN cohort that just came in. i don't have anything else in denver, so i might as well embrace school. it is the reason i am here, after all. and, i didn't do anything organizational wise at UT (not that any of the 50,000 other students would have noticed). that did not make my resume look great. plus, there are something like 38 people in my class. that's like private elementary school sized, if that. there is no reason for everyone in my class to not know everyone's name. this is a great way for me to get to know everyone and make some friends. because i came to this town with zilch of those. and, i look at the experience one of my best friends, julianna, had during her time in nursing school. they had FUN. of course, it's different. she attended UT with mostly young, single, first time college goers. i'm going to school with 40 other people who have already gone to college and gotten a degree. one of them is a baby boomer! and, i think probably 75% of my class are married folk. it's a totally different dynamic. but, i can't think of one person in the world who doesn't appreciate a good time. i want nursing school to be memorable for everyone in my cohort. and i feel like i can execute that task. plus, i'm gonna get to know, hopefully, all of the faculty and staff. and get some bitchin letters written for me when i graduate and, eventually, go off to grad school.

ok, so, i got up, almost knocked over a table with waters on it on 2 girls, fixed that situation, and made my way to the front of the room. i took a deep breath and started my little speech that went something like this: "hi, i'm jessa. um, i've been emailing farrah, the girl who was here a couple of weeks ago from the sna, and she said she didn't think that anyone had stepped up to be the representative for our cohort. so, uh, i was wondering if y'all would be cool with me being it..." and then people cheered, "yeah! go for it! woohoo!". they actually cheered (at least, that's what i heard). and i felt like saying, "you love me! you reeeaaally love me!" but i resisted the urge. instead i said, "wow, ok, so i'm gonna pass a sheet of paper around for everyone to put their name and email down on so i can contact everyone", but that was already being done by my new friend, kelly. so, i said, "cool, can i get a copy of that later?" and that was it. i sat down, and watched my hands shake for 2 more minutes. and that's how i remember it. but, it's all a big haze.

then, i went and had drinks with like, 9 other people (our school is in the heart of, basically, austin's 6th street). yeah, i had drinks with strangers. well, not really strangers. i mean, we have all been going to school together for like, 4 weeks. but, ya know, not the closest of friends. but, i can already tell we are going to be. i had a blast with them. and, there's this bar RIGHT NEXT to my school that does this thing where, when you order a drink, you flip a coin. if you call the flip correctly, your drink is a quarter. A QUARTER! out of my 3 drinks, i only got one quarter drink. but still!

and that was my day of bravery.